The Dave

Dave: Hey

Amber: Where are you, you've been gone for over an hour.

Dave: Oh, I'm just at the beach playing the guitar with some hippies.

Amber: You're what?

Dave: Ya, there were some hippies down here and we're just hanging out.

Amber: You must be joking. You wouldn't do that. You can't be serious. That's not what you're doing.

Dave: Oh, you don't believe me? Here, let me put you on the phone with one of them.

Amber: NONONONONONONOIDON'TFUCKINWANTTO

Lotus: (Lotus!??!? Seriously?) Hi. 

Amber: PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH MY FUCKING HUSBAND!

Lotus: You should calm down.

(It should be noted that at this point my rage was beyond all control. Like seriously, what little bitch would tell ME to calm down when she is hanging out with MY husband at the beach in Sooke, when he should be at my mom's house visiting for Easter. Like, WHAT THE FUCK!)

Amber: PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH MY FUCKING HUSBAND!!

Lotus: Can you calm down?

Amber: PUT ME ON THE PHONE WITH MY FUCKING HUSBAND!!!

Lotus: (to Dave) She's really mad.

Dave: Hi.

Amber: You need to come home NOW.

Dave: Ok.