Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The Swine

Normally this type of newscast doesn't really worry me. Possible pandemic of a relatively mild case of the flu? Oh well. I do live in THE MOST ISOLATED PLACE IN THE WORLD so there is a good chance I'm going to be all right.

And then I remembered that my Dad and brother are in Mexico.

Oh shit, that's right.

So, I call both their cell phones, both are off or disconnected or some situation where I can't leave a message.

Then, I write on Dad's, Josh's and (wonderful family friend) Tony's facebook pages and...Nothing.

So, desiring to quell my anxiety, a nice lady that attends my Dad's church and also has a son in Mexico, wrote me a message saying that everything was all right, the church has been in regular contact with the group and is keeping a close watch.

So then I'm like: EXCUSE ME? My FATHER has been calling the CHURCH to let them know they are all right and he hasn't once bothered to comfort my Mother about the welfare of her son.


My Father is not exactly the best communicator, but this is pretty bad.

So I called and gave my Mom both the good news and the bad, and then proceeded to write my Dad a scathing email of 'domineering women' proportions.

I wait with bated breath for his reply.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Self - Help

It seems that blogging has fallen by the wayside over the last while - sorry. First it was the trip to Vic, then exams, then playing rockband 2 with all my spare minutes - I can only do so much ya know? Anyway, my last exam is tomorrow, which means it would only be natural that rather than studying I would be facebooking and blogging. I mean, what else would I be doing? Other than cleaning my house, reorganizing my DVD collection and, well, playing rockband 2. I tell ya, exam week is fabulous for getting things done.

In any event, I would like to formally announce via the Great Internet Machine that I am making my debut on the stage! I was cast in a Norm Foster play called 'Self-Help'. The Terrace Little Theatre is putting it on under the direction of Chris Stone and I am very excited to be a part of it. It is being performed at the McColl Playhouse on May 21, 22, 23, 28, 29 30 and June 4, 5, 6. Ya, I know right? NINE shows. It might just kill me. But I wouldn't know would I, as I am a theatre virgin.

If you are in Terrace, tickets are being sold at Uniglobe or at the door.

If you're not in Terrace, then you can just suck it.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Dave

Dave: Hey

Amber: Where are you, you've been gone for over an hour.

Dave: Oh, I'm just at the beach playing the guitar with some hippies.

Amber: You're what?

Dave: Ya, there were some hippies down here and we're just hanging out.

Amber: You must be joking. You wouldn't do that. You can't be serious. That's not what you're doing.

Dave: Oh, you don't believe me? Here, let me put you on the phone with one of them.


Lotus: (Lotus!??!? Seriously?) Hi. 


Lotus: You should calm down.

(It should be noted that at this point my rage was beyond all control. Like seriously, what little bitch would tell ME to calm down when she is hanging out with MY husband at the beach in Sooke, when he should be at my mom's house visiting for Easter. Like, WHAT THE FUCK!)


Lotus: Can you calm down?


Lotus: (to Dave) She's really mad.

Dave: Hi.

Amber: You need to come home NOW.

Dave: Ok.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Sunday Style

I realize that winter is (hopefully) over but when I saw these I nearly fell off my chair.


Etsy Shop Bean Town Handmade. Check it out.

(I also want a boston terrier...)

The Pahty

Good times in the Hansen Residence.

He doesn't actually turn for a few days yet but we had a party anyway!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Serenity Now

I often get overwhelmed when my to-do list is long, I have a deadline, and at least one item on that to-do list is something I've been putting off. Usually homework. I often get even more overwhelmed if blocks of my time in order to complete this ever-growing list are eaten up by periferal things, like work, for instance.

We fly (knock on wood with my fingers crossed, throwing salt over my shoulder and jumping on one foot) out of THE MOST ISOLATED PLACE IN THE WORLD on Wednesday morning.

In between now and then I have to:

Complete my last math assignment
Write a 1500 word paper on the treatment of Jewish immigrants in Canadian society
Clean my house and do the laundry
Throw a wild party for Dave's 27th birthday
Pick up and mail my taxes
Attend church so that I can sing in the church choir and do the powerpoint
Attend 2 two-hour play rehearsals
Go to my last English class
Read a play for my last English class
Go to work on Monday and Tuesday and pretend to not be writing my paper
Explain to my dogs that we aren't abandoning them
Shower at least once