This evening Dave and I had a slight misunderstanding about the time we were supposed to arrive at a friend's house, which snowballed into a bit of an argument, because I was taking too long to get in the car. A classic, you might say. The details of said argument are insignificant - we arrived at our friend's on time, and I had been able to apply lipstick, so all was well.
All that was to set the stage for a most memorable little gem that Dave let slip later on, when expressing that he may have overreacted about our punctuality.
"I'm like God. I'm merciful, but don't fuck with me."
That is what he said.
I can hear you laughing, but be careful, he might smite you. You don't know what he is capable of.